I have had a feeling that everyone I know hates me in one way or another and I am starting to think that I should just stop caring anymore and be as much of an asshole that people are to me back... I rarely get like this, as my friends may know, but it has been getting more and more frequent. On other notes I think that my ex hasn't been telling me everything when I have asked her for everything, I dont know if I am gatting a run-around, or whether she feels she will hurt me but just saying it, or what, but things aren't adding up for me, and she seems to be more happy to bitch and insult me than actually answer me truthfully; I dont know if she does this consciously or sub-consciously, but it hurts more than I like to admit/feel, and I just want to be able to leave her alone the way she wants with me having peace of mind... "I still want to be friends" my ass *glares around demonically*, she just seems to have said that to not make me feel quite as crushed and not make herself feel so bad about breaking up (though what she would have to feel bad about breaking up with me is beyond me, and she hasn't said anything that would cause her to feel bad). I dont know what I am doing with some of the people I am with anymore, and I have no idea why I like some of them as people, or otherwise, anymore. It is like everywhere I turn I am getting shit, no matter what I do, if they bitch about something, I fix it, and then I get shit for doing the fixed thing, and then its like if I have input or something to say no one wants to hear me speak or is willing to even think about listening and just insults/snaps and wont stop bitching until I am silent. They want to do whatever they want to do and I have no say or consequence. Not to mention no one will tell me anything when I ask.

Some of the people that are constantly shunned or insulted, and some people who choose to go to school, or are not in the same school/country, seem to be the people that I am most cared for as a person, and I am thinking that I should start bitching people out for picking on them, and I am also thinking that I should get a punching bag once my hand doesn't feel damaged...

Other than this, my tennis season at school, which started magnificently, crashed and didn't pick up, and it is mainly due to my partner not really giving the season his all, and making a bunch of shit decisions and then blaming it on me. I swear that I could have punched him out in the last game of our season when I told him to come in to the net to put pressure on them, and he waits 2 points to try, and fucks it up by coming in along the middle of our side of the court, and cant get a shot along the alley he was supposed to cover. Then he waits 5 games to actually try it again. I have been playing better than him for a while and he hasn't been holding up his end, and I hate him for it.

And in better/decent news, a friend of mine who was a royal WoW addict quit. Officially cancelled his account and yesterday was his last day! He doesn't know what to do now, but he has taken a big step towards allowing himself a shred of normality and can actually focus on schoolwork and extraciriculars now... I am really proud of him. ^.^